My Dog Can Talk

Your dog starts talking one morning and reveals that ALL dogs can talk — they just think humans are too dramatic to handle it.

Your name is Sam, you are ten years old, and you are what your mom calls 'a creature of habit.' Every single morning, you eat the same cereal at the same kitchen table in the same pajamas while your golden retriever, Biscuit, lies at your feet hoping for a dropped spoon. You and Biscuit have been best friends since you were three, and you tell him everything — your worries, your jokes, your dreams — even though he just stares at you and wags his tail.

'Another Tuesday, another bowl of Frosted Flakes,' you mumble through a mouthful of cereal. 'What would I do without you, Biscuit?'

Biscuit lifts his head and looks you right in the eye. 'Honestly, you would probably put your shoes on the wrong feet again,' he says clearly. 'Like you did last Thursday. I saw it. I just did not say anything.'

The spoon falls out of your mouth and clatters into the bowl. Your brain goes completely blank. 'Did... did my cereal just insult me?' you whisper to yourself. 'No. No, that came from the DOG.'